Going Long Distance
It seems crazy to think that this time last week the UK was hit by the 'Beast From The East' & the snow mounds began piling up without any sign of stopping. Here we are a week on, with no sign of the fluffy white stuff & so far no frost on my car windscreen in the early morning dash, which is a pretty handy thing seeing as I always forget about the weather elements & then make myself late for work as I attempt to chip away at the ice..
In other news, I'm dedicating this blog post to 'Going Long Distance', which is a relationship post- something I know isn't everyone's cup of tea but something very close to home for me and many others I feel. Let's start with the obvious.. I'm in a long distance relationship. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years (corrrr blimey!) & for the majority of the relationship we have been long distance due to his work commitments.
I'm not going to sugar coat the situation & say that it's most definitely true when they say 'distance makes the heart grow fonder' because that is utter bullshit to me. Long distance kinda sucks in a way. It's not unbearable otherwise we wouldn't have stuck through together but it's also not an ideal situation. Luckily we're fortunate enough to have our weekends together as we both work during the week, which means the weekends are our time but sometimes it becomes tricky balancing a social life, spending quality time together & also family time.
I'm not the easiest person to resolve a situation with & nor is he, we're both stubborn as hell so if one of us throws a hissy fit you can bet we will be playing the silent treatment card for a long old time. Normally, in a relationship you would have to see that person in daily life & fix your differences sooner than later. However, that is not the case in a long distance relationship as you don't have to see that person for weeks if you so please, so we've learnt that if there's a problem we need to work on it pretty damn quickly as our record currently stands at two weeks without acknowledging each other..
I think one of the big factors for both of us is the trust factor, which is obviously huge in any relationship. If you don't trust your other half then you've got no chance at surviving long distance or in fact a close distance relationship. Surely this is the highest of importance in any relationship!? I'm a very loyal person, whether that's for relationships or friendships & therefore I would like that to be replicated back. I have 100% trust in that boy & I know I don't need to be ringing or texting him every second of the day just for a 'check up'.
Planning for the future is also a little tricky as we're both career orientated & therefore have very different ideas of where we want to settle down. It's certainly become more of a reality recently as we're both nearing that time in our lives where we want to take the next step in our relationship & move in together.. but where?! We've both got our minds set on somewhere North but finding a suitable location for both our careers is seeming a little more complicated..
This so far sounds like a mountain of negativity & I'm sure you're reading this & thinking 'why the hell don't you break up & go your own separate paths?'.. but I can assure you there are some positives as well as negatives when it comes to long distance. One of the highest positive points for me is that I love spending time by myself, I'm very much an independent bean & therefore enjoy my own company. I think having a partner at the click of my fingers would be a little trickier for me as I'd feel quite trapped having to entertain someone on more of a regular basis. I know that sounds ridiculous but I can see myself having to make excuses as to why I wouldn't want to spend time with them every evening because I'd just want to slob out, watch some YouTube & over indulge in houmous.
I sometimes feel as though I wish my working week away quicker because I'm counting down to the weekends to see my boy. I enjoy my job as a temp & therefore don't wish each day away because I'm agonizingly bored but merely because I want to see my boyfriend. I'm just a little worried that I'm wishing my life away almost? I know that sounds a little dramatic but sometimes it does seem the case & I should be making the most of each day with opportunities.
Personally, I'd take the time to think about your relationship & yourself personally, because long distance is a challenge but if you're strong enough to both pull through it then you can pull through anything together. It really does put your relationship to the test but at least then you know whether you're both prepared to give your all & work through the distance. I know there are some couples who don't get to see each other for months & even years but are still making it work & I take my hat off to you because my GOD you are bloody strong.
I most certainly struggled at first & couldn't see past the first few weeks of us separated because it was pretty crap. It was brand new to us & very alien & in a way a little scary not knowing if we could both drag our relationship through this testing time. We weren't together for certain celebrations & that was one factor that really hit hard for me, especially my Birthday. Luckily these days it's much easier for us to plan delayed celebrations & in fact it works out pretty well as we can divide our time with our loved ones & share the celebration plans out rather than cramming them into one day.
So there you have it, a quick summary of my personal positives & negatives that come with a long distance relationship. It's absolutely do'able but it's not easy & certainly has it's challenging times! But it can work & it can be extremely rewarding but you've got to give it your all (not to sound patronizing) because we've learnt personally that we can't do this half hearted. We both know that we have to sometimes nurture our relationship to keep the strength & also to take time for just us two as the reality in any relationship is you work out what keeps the spark alight. Yeah, we annoy the shit out of each other but is that not being human & accepting that nothing or no one is perfect?!
Jumper- Nasty Gal Skirt- Topshop Jacket- Topshop
Fishnets- Primark Bakerboy- ASOS